HOW MY AIBOU TELLS A STORY #2. (ON SKYPE)
Amber: okay so so
Amber: Herakles is like Hera's least favorite kid of Zeus' and I'm like "WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING THE KID ITS NOT HIS FAULT YOUR HUBBY IS A HORNDOG AND HAD SEX WITH HIS MOM"
Amber: but Hera's like "Fuck punishing Zeus I'm gonna make Herakles' life shiiiiiiiit"
Amber: and just as he has earned the respect of the Thebans in conquering Clymenos and got a new wifey and three kids
Amber: SHE MAKES HIM GO INSANE AND MAKES HIM MURDER THEM ALL
Amber: and he's like "Oh shit"
Amber: and is exiled
Amber: and then he goes to the Temple of Apollo
Amber: and is like "Dude I just killed my family so I need some purification
Amber: and Apollo's like "Yeah man I totally saw that...but, I'm not going to give it to you."
Amber: "...Are you fucking serious?"
Amber: "Yeah man. Go away."
Amber: "FUCK YOU APOLLO YOU DICK IMMA TRASH YOUR FUCKING TEMPLE FOR THAT"
Amber: *breaks everything and tries to steal the fucking tripod thing he sits on*
Amber: Apollo: "BITCH GIVE THAT BACK" *descends and starts attacking Herakles*
Amber: and Hera's like "Hey Zeus your TWO SONS ARE FUCKING FIGHTING GO DEAL WITH IT LIKE A FATHER SHOULD YOU BITCH."
Amber: And Zeus is like "OY BOYS BREAK IT UP DAMMIT"
Amber: Apollo and Herakles: "BUT DAAAAAD HE STARTED IT!!!"
Amber: "NO BUTS. APOLLO YOU PURIFY MY HERAKLES DAMMIT"
Amber: Apollo *mutters how Herakles is the favorite and is 'daddy's boy" while Herakles smirks smuggly behind Zeus' back*
Amber: "Fiiiiine look I'll get the King Erystheus to give him some tasks and IF HE CAN DO THOSE THEN I WILL PURIFY HIM OKAY DAD? WE GOOD?"
Amber: Zeus: "Fine, sounds good."
Amber: Herakles" Fuck now I'm never gonna get some peace and quiet... *goes off and fights 12 mythical beasts*
and Artemis is like "IM TOTALLY ON YOUR SIDE TWIN BRO, CAUSE HERAKLES STOLE MY FUCKING DEER FUCKING HELL *rages*"
Amber: and ironically a pic of cosplayer of Disney Herakles is on my dash pffff